I wouldn't keep the practice of shunning a secret because it would cause too much confusion. My mother-in-law is a JW but her father is not. I am very close to her Dad and try to have a good relationship with her. He is always inviting all of us over to his house. Since I wrote my letter of disassociation I haven't heard from her at all. I did speak with him and share my concerns that she might decide to not speak with me or my family. He said that he would frown upon her doing that. I used to be Catholic, which is his faith, and switched to JW which is hers. He was very supportive of my choice then and he is very supportive of my choice to be a Christian now. He feels that she should do the same. Will have to see what happens. The main thing is that I don't want my family to be divided.
I did read your other post about when the Grandparents are able to see the kids which is only at your house. I completely agree with that because I don't want her doing that to my kids either. My kids are happy with me and Joel's decision to be Christians not JW's. Honestly they wouldn't appreciate her preaching to them about JW beliefs.
Andrea Wideman
JoinedPosts by Andrea Wideman
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Do you hide you JW family's practice of shunning from non-JW family?
by kwintestal ini thought of this question as i've been talking to different family members about the situation with my parents and grandmother.
i wondered if they'd get upset by me telling other non-jw family members what was going on.
i recently told a family member in coventry who i'm sure will end up telling my grandmother's sisters.
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Andrea Wideman
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Andrea Wideman
Welcome!
I do know what you mean about wanting to be able to think for yourself. It is an affliction I suffer from myself and I received many funny looks from any JW I really told my opinion to. My husband,Joel, says that it is amazing that they didn't DF me for doing it.
Your daughter looks beautiful in her Halloween costume. This is the first year my kids are doing it, that they can remember, it has been eleven years since we did holiday stuff.
Again welcome and hope to hear more from you. -
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I wonder how my mother-in-law will react.
by Andrea Wideman inmy mother-in-law is a jw.
she is the one that gave the knowledge book and took such and interest in my baptism that she made sure whomever needed to know did about why i wasn't with the other people getting baptized that day.
i couldn't fit in the seat.
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Andrea Wideman
When he joined the Navy he says that pretty much DAed himself. He does know of the pain she could cause after all she raised him and caused him tons of it. Thank you for your concern.
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oHi, short introduction
by Sugarcane inglad i found this board and hope to have some interesting discussions.
i'll post my story later today, but in the meantime; i'm a single parent with 2 kids, was a jw for 26 years in total (born one, left at 17 years, went back at 21), became inactive 4 years ago and disassociated myself 4 weeks ago!.
my experience with the bible org.
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Andrea Wideman
As to your ancestry I would guess Jamaica because they raise sugarcane there.
Sorry that you had so much pain in the past but now you can build a better future for you and your kids.
I am very new to the forum too. My husband Joel is the one that got me started. He told me that I should post here and share my story. He said it helps others to heal. Thank you very much for sharing your story. You truly are a survivor to get out of the Borg with your powers of thinking intact. -
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I wonder how my mother-in-law will react.
by Andrea Wideman inmy mother-in-law is a jw.
she is the one that gave the knowledge book and took such and interest in my baptism that she made sure whomever needed to know did about why i wasn't with the other people getting baptized that day.
i couldn't fit in the seat.
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Andrea Wideman
Due to her illness she isn't allowed to take my kids out by herself in case she has an episode and thinks she is seeing demons. Also has been known to accuse her best JW friends of trying to poison her food. This stuff happens when her medication needs to be adjusted.
Distance can be done because she lives 10 miles away and rules will have to be worked on as time goes on. For example no giving the kids literature and lecturing them on the evils of movies, tv shows, books, etc.That is Joel's and my job to guide them in their choices. -
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After my un-DF'ing, I have sent a letter to everyone in my hall.
by kwintestal inin the final installment of my story, i am done with my local congregation now.
in the past month, i have been df'd, un-df'd attended a meeting where i shook everyones hand and smiled ... and now i have sent everyone in the hall this letter, roughly 60 addresses:.
open letter to the north congregation of jehovahs witnesses.
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Andrea Wideman
Your letter brings to mind something that was told to me the day of my baptism. I was told to watch my kids carefully because not everyone at the assembly would be a JW. Now I know that what they should have been saying is be careful of your kids because they could be molested by a JW while at the assembly. You know the more I hear about this topic the more grateful I become that my family is out of it.
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A Story and A Little Bit of Grattitude
by MrsBee ini never was a jw, went to kh a few times as a teenager, didnt feel comfortable with the things said, alot of my associates as an adult were brought up witnesses, but ya know, were pretty much disowned by their families as adults because they chose not to be jw's.. my husband is a d'fed jw, i knew he had been a jw, but it didnt even cross my mind that he would go back to them..
well, a couple of months after we were married ( around september of last year) this guy started calling our home asking him i guess to come to the kh.
i flipped out, i started not talking to him, i was very emotionally distraught over this matter, and then i went from being sad to damn mad, and i would just ignore him, because in my mind i saw this as as something that will break up my marriage (my feelings on that havent changed) while searching the internet trying to find things to change his mind about this religion something great happened, i started reading the bible and just in general started to feel better as a person myself and how it was ok for me to feel how i felt, because i felt like i was bamboozled because as much as i love my husband, i would have thought differently about marriage if i knew he was going to become a witness again.
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Andrea Wideman
You are not allowed to be an individual. You are suppose to think what the GB thinks and do what they say. Anything else gets frowned upon. I was told that it is important for my kids to go to all meeetings. The problem is that so many of them are at night when they should be sleeping. I was constantly asked where they were during these evening meetings. I said at home in bed. My answer wasn't well liked.
When a new statement was released, by the GB, and I asked questions just so I could understand where they were coming from I got funny looks.
I hope you have a speedy, safe, and pain free delivery. -
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I wonder how my mother-in-law will react.
by Andrea Wideman inmy mother-in-law is a jw.
she is the one that gave the knowledge book and took such and interest in my baptism that she made sure whomever needed to know did about why i wasn't with the other people getting baptized that day.
i couldn't fit in the seat.
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Andrea Wideman
My mother-in-law is a JW. She is the one that gave the Knowledge book and took such and interest in my baptism that she made sure whomever needed to know did about why I wasn't with the other people getting baptized that day. I couldn't fit in the seat. It hurt me terribly and I spent the day crying
She is also a person that does everyhting the GB says. I do still want to have a relationship with her but don't want me or my kids to be harassed by her for the choices made. By now my local KH should have received my letter of disassociation and she has friends there. My goal wasn't to hurt her with my leaving,the woman is under psychiatric care because she has delusions, but once I found out about the inconsistencies in the doctrine I knew that I had to write that letter. I couldn't stay with a religion where I am being lied to. Definitely couldn't continue raising my kids in something I no longer believed in . -
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KH meeting - boring!
by jstalin ini'm not a jw but a friend of mine who is a jw invited me to the memorial service at the kh this year.
i was raised catholic but now i'm agnostic/atheist.
one thing that struck me was how horribly sterile and boring the memorial service was.
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Andrea Wideman
Boring and dour certainly. I love to sing but those songs are so tough to do. I couldn't really enjoy the singing though I did try very hard to do that.
Also one other thing I noticed is the way they speed read the scriptures. They mention the chapter and verse, rush to find it as fast as possible, speed through it, and then the process starts again. They don't stop and really think about the beauty of the words.
The really dour part is being judged all the time. No matter how much you know or how well behaved your kids might be they always have a comment on how you can do better. -
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The Book Signing that ended in a JC Meeting...
by jesussaves inhey y'all,.
i posted a few months back that my first novel, "what a sista should do" had been published and is now available in stores.
my very first booksigning was in june at a well known bookstore in our area.
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Andrea Wideman
It is wonderful that your book is doing so well. Congratulations!
It was very sad to read about how your family, who does strive so hard to do what they feel is right, is still so persecuted by those who claim to love them. That kind of behavior is not loving but controlling. It is wonderful that you got out and are happy. Andrea